Parts of Lenore while working on Casual Encounters, 2015 ✨

 

This summer, while looking for an image from this series to print for a show, I realized I’d forgotten about the moments where Lenore stepped into the frame, or our off-moments with the household pets. Seeing them pop up made my stomach sink, but I was also incredibly grateful for them.

 

This was our first collaboration. We had talked about it for two years before finally starting to photograph. We connected with some wonderful women and shared our lived experiences. It was both serious and playful; Lenore and I always left energized, with so much more to talk about. She always wanted us to do a podcast about this work. We thought we were hilarious and smart (and we were). We did do an audio recording at one of the shoots, I haven't had the strength to play it yet.

 

There are so many emotions on this anniversary. This year has been hard, to say the very least. Losing someone you had so much closeness and work with is painful, messy, and something I've been slowly moving through.

 

Beyond the obvious grief of losing a best friend, there is a quiet isolation. I’ve felt physically and emotionally distanced from the other people who knew and loved Lenore. Without the collective healing of a formal gathering, I have been trying to create my own small, solitary rituals to process the pain.

 

In truth, seeing our collaborative work out in the world has become my greatest comfort. In those moments, I feel like I am actively honoring her. I am carrying the torch.

 

For me, our BUFF work is an archive of our friendship. It holds the late-night talks, the creative mishaps, the shared laughter, and the moments our own art made us both cry. It holds everything we learned about each other, the people we met, and the literal journeys we took together.Those memories / our artworks are parts of our shared history and serve as reminders of our love, our closeness, and just how deeply we cared for one another. 🤍

 

This is what I'm left with and this is what I hold dear. Love you forever my friend.